A Brief Biography of
The Computer Guru
(A.K.A., Steven Salemi)

"I loved him, what can I say? Compared to Bill, he's a sex machine...definitely an 11...my mother never told me men could be like that...I'd have started sooner...do you smoke?" -- Monica Lewdinsky (Told in Confidence to a Friend)

Vital Statistics and Fun-To-Know Facts
About The Man They Call The Computer Guru

The Early Years (1958-1970s)

• Born February 22, 1958 at 1:17AM (Pisces) at Glen Cove Hospital in Glen Cove (Long Island), New York.
• Youngest of three children, only child not to be given middle name (WHY???)

• Showed remarkable verbal abilities at early age -- I could read before I entered kindergarten. Since the purpose of Kindergarten was to teach me to read, however, there wasn't much for me to do there.
• I did have trouble tying my shoelaces and telling time -- and later in life, I had a devil of a time learning to tie a necktie -- this was possibly a defense/rebellion mechanism against parental efforts at teaching me the same -- and, in the case of a necktie, a very sound defense mechanism against getting trapped in some horribly bogus corporate job.
• Uniformly excellent academic grades throughout my schooling were marred by severe behavioral deficiencies, "lack of self-control," interrupting teachers to tell jokes, etc. Was often sent to the hall and the Principal's office as punishment.
  
  The Later Years (1970s-1980s)
  
• 1980 Graduate of Brown University, Providence, Rhode Island ("The Dear Old School"), majoring in European History
• Married in 1984, Divorced in 1987, never remarried, open to possibility
• Established "Bottom Line Communications," a Massachusetts Corporation, in 1983. Consulted for major
  East-Coast Computer and Technology Companies for ten years.
• Fit the "Yuppie" mold pretty well throughout the 1980s, liked the money, but my heart was never in it.
• Drove and loved my 1984 VW Rabbit Convertible and 1987 VW Cabriolet.
  
  Off The Rails: Santa Fe to Present (1990s)
  
• Abandoned Bottom Line Communications, Moved To Santa Fe, New Mexico in February 1991
• Studied massage therapy and natural healing at Dr. Jay Scherer's Institute of Natural Healing,
  graduating in September, 1991
• Lived and traveled for several years in Santa Fe and Vallecitos, New Mexico; Malibu, California;
  and Livingston, Montana. Took occasional bogus jobs during this time to pay the rent
• Became obsessed with VW "Kubelwagens," possibly a reaction to a WWII Past Life (Sorry, but I'm Serious)
• Intensive/Extensive self-exploration and spiritual study and practice in this time
• Established The Computer Guru Business in June 1996
• Created The Computer Guru Radio Show in early 1997
• Founded The Computer Guru Ashram, 844 Agua Fria (at St. Francis Drive) in Santa Fe in late 1997
  
  ...And Stay Tuned for Late Breaking News!!!

A Portent of Things to Come?
Or Just Acting Out a Favorite Fantasy?

The Author, Swan Point Cemetery,
Providence, Rhode Island, September 1980

"Vanity, Vanity, All is Vanity..."
Ecclesiastes, The Bible